


The Ghost of Laura Milkovich

by mmmargo



Series: Before and After [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Character Death, Dead Terry Milkovich, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Weddings, oops she killed him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:40:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28931148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmmargo/pseuds/mmmargo
Summary: laura milkovich learns her son is getting married and wants to meet the groom
Relationships: Ian Gallagher & Mandy Milkovich & Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Mandy Milkovich & Mickey Milkovich
Series: Before and After [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2121858
Comments: 12
Kudos: 118





	The Ghost of Laura Milkovich

**Author's Note:**

> I am once again inspired by @sapphicfiona and their anons. Stela, anons, you have to stop giving me reasons to procrastinate I can't keep doing this (im kidding i love you all so much i really enjoyed writing this)  
> [Okay, so this took an unexpectedly dark turn so a little spoiler alert: Terry dies, Laura shoots him. It is not described in detail however if guns or violence or death or anything related bothers, be careful, don't read if it is going to harm. take care of yourself. laura does not kill him until the very end so it's fairly safe to read until the last bit other than the vague reference to milkovich child abuse but still be careful] hope you enjoy!!

Laura first heard about the wedding when she came back to Chicago for the first time in years. She passed by the burnt down Bamboo Lotus with a graphic drawing of two men clearly having sex and being shot. The action reminded her of her ex-husband. She supposed he was actually her current husband since they never got divorced. 

She asked a stranger what had happened and with a thick Chicago accent, they told her, “Terry Milkovich burned it down cause his son, um, Mickey, I think, is marrying some dude. Ian Gallagher. You didn’t hear about it? Yeah, they moved to that Polish place though, so happy ending I guess.” 

_ Mickey. Mikhailo. My sweet Mikhailo. My кульбаба. He’s getting married. To a man.  _

She felt several different emotions at that point in time. One was absolute glee, the second was absolute despair, and the third was absolute fear. 

There was glee because  _ her boy was getting married. _ He was having a wedding. He was in love and had someone to love him. Someone to be there. At least she hoped the person he married was loving and caring and thoughtful. She hoped the person he married wanted to shower him with kisses and praise until Mickey could hardly stand it. That’s what she used to do with him. She gave him kisses on his cute little chubby cheeks and dirty forehead and praised him for cleaning the dishes or taking Mandy to school. She hoped he would care about her sweet boy the way he deserved to be cared about. 

That’s when the despair hit. Her son was gay and shared a house with Terry Milkovich. Her son was alone. Her son was abused. Her son had to grow up without a mother for the longest time. She left when he was sixteen. Or rather, she faked her death when he was sixteen. Mandy was fifteen. Iggy would have been around nineteen. They were teenagers. Every time she would say she would go back for them, she didn’t. She couldn’t face her children. She couldn’t face her husband. She cursed herself for her cowardice for her entire life, always keeping track of her children's birthdays. She would go to the store and buy cards every August tenth and write “Happy birthday, Mikhailo, my sweet кульбаба,” and never send it. She knew what her children probably thought of her. They were right whatever they thought. They should hate her, they should despise her with every fiber of their being. She hoped they did. 

Then there was fear, fear of Terry. Fear for Mickey and his husband. Fear for what Terry will do to them if he finds them vulnerable. Fear that they will have to live the rest of their lives in fear. 

That's why she decided to do it. 

Right now, she is headed to the Polish Doll. The Polish place as the stranger put it. She walked fast with her three-inch heels, it was painful but, in a way, deserved. If this is what she has to do to make her son happy, then she would do it. 

The outside of the Polish Doll was peaceful but she heard distant music.  _ At Last _ , she identified the song as. She wondered who chose it. She walked in quietly and saw a tall, bald man holding a bat by the door. She watched him carefully, seeing if there was a possibility that he was one of Terry’s. But no one seemed to mind him, he watched with tearful, happy eyes as the ceremony unfolded. A trusted friend for security,  _ my boy was always smart.  _ She moved to the bar, hoping to blend in with the locals and to get a better view. And there, walking down the alter was her Mickey. Her son. Tears immediately welled up in her eyes and suddenly she could barely breathe. 

There was a bruise on his eye and she wondered if Terry had done it. Whoever did it, she would surely beat them to death with her shoe. Aside from that, he looked the happiest she had ever seen him.  _ What if he had been happier, I just wasn't there to see it _ , she thought bitterly. He was wearing a white tux and on his arm was Sandy. It was more like he was on her arm though, he held on while she walked him down the aisle. 

At the end of the aisle was a tall man with red hair. He was good looking. 

_ My boy knows how to pick ‘em.  _

Laura knew this had to be Ian. She remembered the name.  _ Ian was the boy Mickey was always bothering at that convenience store, wasn’t he?  _ Oh, that makes sense. She would always tell him to stop bothering him. Mandy told them that it had just been a misunderstanding, though she was wary, she ultimately believed her daughter. But now she realized, he was not simply bothering him, he was pulling his pigtails.  _ Oh, Mikhailo.  _

Then the vows started. They promise each other the traditional vows but somehow she figured it was more than that. That they would mean more if she knew about their relationship. She didn’t though, she again tried to push the thought out of her head and focus on the ceremony. 

She listened to every word Mickey said. Hung on to the promises they made to each other. He sounded so happy, deliriously happy, like he was up there, surrounded by his friends and family, professing his love for a man he holds dear. In his own world. That’s because he was.

This was his world. He made it. He made it through the Milkovich home, the abuse, the death, the drugs, the violence. He found a home, a husband, a  _ family _ . She sniffled, hoping she wouldn’t be noticed, she motioned for the bartender to pour her a drink. 

This was a wedding, she would drink. She would drink to her son’s happiness. To all of her children’s happiness. She wondered where Mandy was. Where Iggy had run off to? She didn’t know about them but here, now, she knew of. She knew her son was happy and safe. She would make sure of it. She would make sure her son’s family was safe. Because now, they were hers to protect. That’s how being a Milkovich works, or at least should have work. Mickey loved Ian Gallagher, therefore no harm would come to him and those he cares about. And she knew how to do that. 

But for now, she would enjoy the festivities. She looked around at the decorations, they were lovely. 

_ Because I raised my boy to have taste.  _

She laughed and remembered picking out bed sheets with Mickey and Mandy when they were younger, around six and five. They had saved up to buy them new ones and when Mandy told her she wanted pink sheets with flowers, Mickey turned up his nose and told her those were tacky. She supposed he learned it from her. Even though he masked it with dirt and old band T-shirts, Laura remembered that he wanted to dress nicely. He loved her scarves, he would wear them in the winter, telling her that he just couldn’t stand the cold but she knew better. She knew him better. He liked the feel and the look. Yet every time he would put effort into how he looked, Terry shut him down, telling him not to act so much like a-

_ No,  _ she scowled and drank. She would not think of that monster now, he would be dealt with. Not now though. At this point, Ian and Mickey had walked hand in hand down the aisle while a pop song played and people hollered. She joined in, softly yelling a woo with the rest. 

If Mickey didn’t hear it, she knew it happened. Maybe she would be able to pretend for a time that she was a part of it. 

They disappeared for a little while everyone got up and moved to the dance floor. 

Ian and Mickey walked back out, Ian’s tie now loosened and Mickey’s hair a little ruffled.  _ Understandable,  _ she thought. Then she looked at the cake and the wedding topper and thought  _ not as understandable, Mikhailo, what happened to class? _

Laura watched them dance together all night. Mikhailo was a lot of things but one thing he was not was a dancer. But there he was, jumping and dancing with his husband, his cousin, and a small child that made them laugh. She wondered who he was, if he was important to them, if he was their kid. There was so much she didn’t know. 

Eventually, Mickey disappeared, Ian was dancing with another redheaded woman in a wedding dress. Strangely she did not find this odd, as a gay couple, they probably used her as cover.  _ My Mickey is just so smart,  _ she thought with great admiration and affection for her son. Then Ian moved to the bar. 

_ Shit, shit, shit.  _

\---

Ian was exhausted and he needed a drink.  _ We did it, we’re finally married.  _

After everything, after juvie, after Svetlana, after manic and depressive episodes, after jail, after Mexico, after jail again, after fights and break-ups and make-ups, they did it. After Terry. 

They would deal with him later though. They always did. Right now, they just wanted to be happy. And they were. They were so happy it almost felt unreal.

But it wasn’t. They made it happen. They always managed to do that. 

He was seated at the bar, waiting for Mickey to come back. He said he needed to call Mandy. Just tell her everything. He smiled, he wanted to talk to her but he knew that they needed their alone time with each other. 

Beside him, a woman cleared her throat. Her hair was black, her skin was pale, and her eyes were the same blue that he would know anywhere.  _ Milkovich.  _ Then she spoke. 

“So, where is the lucky groom?” She talked with a heavy Ukrainian accent,  _ yeah, she’s a Milkovich.  _

“Oh, he’s talking with his sister somewhere.”

The woman’s eyes light up, “Amanda? Where is she?” There was slight panic in her voice.

“She couldn’t catch a flight in time, she had some meeting in New York and couldn’t get down here.” Ian noted the relief in the woman’s eyes, “Though I swear she’s such a big shot now, she could probably get her own private jet.” 

The woman laughed and sniffled, “What does she do?” 

“She’s a model now. Like an actual model with managers who don’t starve her,” Ian was way too drunk to be talking right now, but at his point, he didn't care. Mandy was happy, she loved herself, she had partners who loved her and treated her with respect, not the way Kenyatta or Lip treated her. At first, he was worried, horrified that she was being taken advantage of, he knows how people treat sex workers like they are objects, he knows what’s it’s like to starve yourself so people will like you. He never wanted that for Mandy. He recalled when Mandy was an escort, she swore up and down that it was professional and safe so he was inclined to believe her despite his worries but eventually she got into modeling. He wished he could hear her talk about it right now, it made her so happy and giddy, the sound of her voice makes his heart clench. 

“She’s real big time now. Got this big, expensive apartment in New York.”

The woman wiped her eyes, “That’s beautiful. She is happy, yes?” 

Ian nodded and squinted his eyes at her, “I’m sorry, who are you in relation to Mickey?” 

\---

_ Shit, shit, shit.  _ “Aunt. His mother’s side.” She would hate to associate with Terry. Mandy was a model, she was happy. She was wealthy, she had people to care for her. Now she remembered more about Ian. Ian would go over to the house, she never met him but Mandy would tell her about him. How dreamy he was, how kind, and giving, and handsome. At the time, she never questioned it because he was her boyfriend but now she was concerned that her daughter fell in love with someone who didn’t love her back. What if Ian started seeing Mickey while they were together? What if he broke Mandy’s heart? What if she cried and there was no one there to hold her or cradle her and tell her it was going to be okay? What if this bastard hurt her  _ принцеса _ -

“Really? I thought you were his sister.”

_ Oh, this one is a keeper.  _

“What a gentleman.” Laura calmed herself. To be fair, Mandy might have been his cover, or they broke up mutually and then he started seeing Mickey. They seemed to be close now so maybe there was nothing to worry about. 

Ian blushed when she called him a gentleman.  _ Charming  _ and _ sweet, how nice.  _

Then she thought of a question that would surely sound weird but it was something she needed to know. 

“You love him, yes?”

Ian looked so deeply in thought and in love for a moment before he spoke, “Yeah, so much. Mickey is,” he paused for a moment and breathed in like he couldn’t emphasize it enough, like he couldn’t express it in words, “everything.” 

She liked how he said. He did not say he is everything  _ to me.  _ He simply said that he is  _ everything _ . Like he was stating a fact, the world is round, the sky is blue,  _ Mickey is everything _ . Like anyone who doesn’t think that is moronic.  _ Because they were _ . She liked him. She approved of her son’s taste in men. Though it’s not like her opinion mattered to him much right now but she likes to think if things turned out differently, Ian would have asked for her approval before proposing and Mickey would have cared about what she thought of his lover. 

“You will never leave him, yes? Stay with him, until death do you part, yes?” 

Ian looked taken aback. She didn’t like that he hesitated, that he had to think about it, but then he spoke. 

“I have left him in the past. I’ve hurt him, really badly. Even right before the wedding, those bruises are my fault,”  _ I will beat him to death with my shoe,  _ “and he’s hurt me. My broken leg is because of him,”  _ My son needs to be smacked upside the head,  _ “But we love each other. We take care of each other. We always have and we always will. Through all of it, the bad, the good. So yes, I wanna stay with him, I wanna be with him every morning and every night. The reasons I left were never because I didn’t love him, it was only because I got scared I’d lose him. I’m not gonna get scared anymore. This time, I’m not gonna leave. As long as he’ll have me, I’m his and he’s mine, you know? We’re in it for the long haul. ‘Til death do us part. And beyond that”

Laura was silent. She thought about his words. She thought about the pain her children went through. How alone Mickey must have felt in a house where his life was threatened. How terrified he must have been. How much he wished he had someone to love him and take care of him. But now he had that. He had Ian, he had a family, they would build one together if they hadn’t already. Ian and Mickey. In it for the long haul. Until death do them part. And beyond that. 

“You know all you had to say was yes, right?” 

Ian blushed and stuttered, attempting to defend himself. When he failed, she got up. 

“I kid, my little  _ сонце,”  _

Ian scrunched up his nose and tilted his head. She could see what Mickey found so enticing about him. 

She thought of what she wanted to say to Mickey. What could she say that would make up for so much lost time? There were no magic words that she could have spelled out to fix it, there were only regret and final goodbyes. Because that’s what this is. A goodbye that she has to say through a stranger. 

“Tell Mikhailo something for me, would you? Tell him that he will always be my кульбаба, and I will always be with him. No matter what.” 

Ian nodded despite his confusion, “I’m not sure-?” 

Laura shushed him, “Do not worry, you and my Mikhailo will be happy from here on out. You deserve it.”

\---

She turned and walked out. Laura had a plan. A goal. A mission. She would keep her son and his family safe. She knew how to do it. 

She caught a cab and told the driver to go 1955 S. Trumbull Avenue. The Milkovich house. Where it all started. Where it will end.

She paid and moved out of the car, grabbing her purse. Inside her small handbag was a black pistol that she kept on her. She lived her life in fear, fear of Terry, fear of what her children would go through without her, fear of being happy.

She walked up to the door and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and turned the handle. 

What she saw inside was not just a cold, living room that fed into a dirty kitchen. What she saw was a life of despair and pain her children had that was caused by a hateful, violent man. What she saw was what she left behind, good and bad. What she saw was Terry Milkovich sitting on the couch, alone, in his boxers and no shirt, smelling like beer. 

It took a minute for him to recognize her.

When he did, he croaked out with fear clear in his voice, “Laura? You’re dead, what are you-? You’re dead, no, you can’t be here.”

“Do not tell me what I am. You tried to kill my son, my beautiful son, my beautiful daughter. You hurt my children.”

She shot his leg. He crumpled. She stepped closer. She put the gun underneath his jaw.

“He’s my son too, the fairy.”

“Shut up. Just- shh. Thank you.”

“What are you doing? Are you going to kill me?”

Laura gestured to the gun she was holding, “yeah, no shit.” 

“Bullshit. What are you doing, Laura?” Terry mocked once more. 

“I’m giving my son the best wedding present I can give.” 

Then she pulled the trigger.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this was so fun to write. I'm thinking I might add another part, talking about how mickey finds out about his mother and Terry and what happened, not sure if anyone would want that though, tell me what you think


End file.
